Dear Ruth, You are a very pretty girl! No need to get down. Find contentment in Christ! He will give you the contentment no one else can. I love your smile and I think you will go far with your oh so many talents (photography! cooking! Eating! Writing! Singing! Music!) (:
haha yes, eating is one of my best talents. thank you for your encouraging words! :)
whenever I’m home, I’m always grateful to know that I have relationships with friends that never change. we just pick up from where we left off from the last time and I don’t feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar at the slightest. this comforts me a lot because I do have a difficult time opening myself up to people. I went to a private middle school and entered high school knowing absolutely no one except my brother, haha. everybody was already in their groups of friends and I was lucky enough to squeeze myself in. but it was definitely awkward at first, and it didn’t help that I was the shyest girl at school. it was only when I joined choir that I finally gained a sense of belonging. when I left UCI and transferred to USC, again I felt like a stranger, because everyone had already bonded and concreted relationships with each other. many of you might just say, “okay, well tough shit, just put yourself out there!” but it’s not something that comes naturally to me. I tried to involve myself by checking out a few clubs and auditioning for an a cappella group, but when things didn’t click, I felt even more detached. and it’s not that I can’t make friends but that I feel very different from and incompatible with the average person I meet. I think I owe this to my older siblings. I was always surrounded by older people as I grew up and I feel like I sort of skipped a stage. anyway, I struggled daily with this feeling of loneliness and this sense of disconnect this past year at USC, but I am now beginning to realize that instead of moping over what I don’t have, I should be cherishing the things and relationships that I do have. yes, it sounds cliché but it puts things in a new perspective, and fresh perspectives are always good. so here’s to taking each day as it comes and focusing on what’s truly important.
speaking of which, sleeping is very important, so I bid you good night.